


Going For Gold

by TheseusInTheMaze



Category: Game Grumps
Genre: Background Arin Hanson/Suzy Berhow - Freeform, Background Dan Avidan/Suzy Berhow, Begging, Blow Job, Dirty Talk, M/M, Multiple Orgasms, Sex Toys, Vibrator
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-26
Updated: 2018-05-26
Packaged: 2019-05-13 21:16:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14756462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheseusInTheMaze/pseuds/TheseusInTheMaze
Summary: Arin and Dan discuss Impossible Let's Plays.





	Going For Gold

**Author's Note:**

  * For [onewarmline](https://archiveofourown.org/users/onewarmline/gifts).



"It was good, having Rhett and Link on the show," said Dan leaning back into the couch, then taking a bite out of his cracker. 

It crunched. 

"Yeah," said Arin, "although are they gonna have, like, new Olympics games every time they do this?" 

"Do you mean a new game every time there's a new Olympics? I don't think that they'd do a new Olympic games every time they released a new Nintendo game, or a lot of countries would be... a lot more in debt than they already are."

"Yeah, they go into debt for the Olympics, right?"

"Oh yeah."

"... huh."

"Hm?"

"... why do them, if they leave you in debt?"

"Because, you know, these kinds of things are, like... important."

"You sure sound like you care," Dan said, and then he was laughing.

"You know, the Olympics used to have stuff that wasn't just sports," said Arin. "If you and I ever wanted to go into it."

"What, so you could stand there with a gold medal saying that you won it for... what, cake baking?"

"I don't think they had cake baking," said Arin. "But I know they had art."

"That'd be the only chance for the likes of us to ever win the gold or whatever," said Dan, and he flexed one skinny arm.

He eyed Arin out of the corner of his eye, and he was grinning a bit in spite of himself.

Arin was just so... cheerful.

It was hard not to be happy around him. 

... it had been hard not to flirt in front of Rhett and Link. 

Not that Rhett and Link would have judged them or anything, but... well... there was a time and a place for that kind of thing, and in front of your colleagues wasn't it.

Not that Rhett and Link didn't flirt with each other, but... still.

Time and a place. 

"You could win gold," said Dan, and he smiled at Arin. 

Arin smiled back, and he was only blushing a little bit.

"For what?"

"Well, for art, obviously," said Arin. "If we still had that around."

"If they had the weenie option, I'd be the king of weenies?"

"You'd be the fucking _emperor_ of weenies," said Dan. 

"Would I get a crown?"

"You totally would."

"So not only would I get a weenie crown, I'd also get a gold medal as king -"

"Emperor!"

"Sorry, _Emperor_ of weenies?"

"Yeah. But also, if you keep getting buff, you'll b able to go to the Olympics for weightlifting or some shit in no time."

"You think?"

"Totally!"

"Aw, that's really sweet, bud."

"I do my best," said Dan, and yeah, he was blushing. 

"But yeah," said Arin, "it'd be cool to, I dunno, train for the Olympics."

"What if they made video game Olympics?"

"They do have, like, pro gaming and shit."

"Yeah, but I'm not good enough for that."

"I'm sure you could figure out a way to get better."

"Who has the time for that?"

Arin and Dan made eye contact, burst out laughing.

Their busy schedules were a frequent joke between the two of them - it was laugh or cry about it, really.

"You know what'd be neat?"

"What?"

"If we, uh... if we, like, did a thing. Like Rhett and Link do."

"What, told stories and wrote songs? We do that already."

Dan rolled his eyes, elbowing Arin in the side.

Arin made an indignant noise, and rubbed his side.

"I'm delicate," he complained.

Dan resisted the urge to say something along the lines of "I already knew that," because then some of the fans on Tumblr might just... cream their jeans or something, but still.

Okay.

"Sorry," said Dan, and he patted Arin on the side.

"We could do like, some kind of "will it" like Rhett and Link do?"

"We do the Power Hours," Dan pointed out.

"Yeah, but that's just us... doing stuff. Versus, like... the weird shit that Rhett and Link do."

"I don't think I have the stomach for the shit that Rhett and Link do."

"I mean," said Arin, and he laughed, "neither does Link."

That set Dan off again, and he was cackling, curling up in a ball as he gasped, trying to catch his breath, remembering the look on Link's face during any number of episodes as he had to eat something... unpleasant.

"Those two are gonna die of eating frog legs or lotion or something," said Dan.

"They eat the stuff that's supposed to be nontoxic," said Arin. 

"I mean, technically, rocks are nontoxic, but you don't see me going out and eating rocks," said Dan. 

"You're a special case," said Arin. 

"How am I a special case?'

"Your stomach fucking hates you. You can't even eat red meat."

"Well, no, but there's a difference between rocks and red meat. Unless, I guess, maybe rocks could be like... steaks of the earth?"

"Nah," said Arin, and he was fiddling with his controller. "They're the bones of the earth."

"So what are the steaks of the earth?"

“I don’t fuckin’ know,” said Arin. “Maybe those strips of rock? What is it, Michael?”

“Mica?”

“Yeah, that stuff.”

“Does mica come in flat sheets?”

“I don’t fucking know,” said Arin. “Do I look like a rock doctor?”

“Don’t you mean a geologist?”

Arin burst out laughing, and then Dan was laughing as well, and the two of them were on top of each other, cackling like hyenas. 

* * *

“Welcome back to Game Grumps, where Dan is still hung up on how he wants us to be Good Mythical Morning,” said Arin.

“I wasn’t saying that I want us to be like those guys,” said Dan. “Although you have to admit, they look like they have fun.”

“I don’t think doing shit like eating cookies made with… fucking blood is _fun_ ,” said Dan, aware of just how scandalized he sounded.

“You’re just picky,” said Arin.

“Not wanting to eat cookies made with blood is _not_ me being picky,” proteste Dan. “Any reasonable person would think that’s gross!”

“Are you saying I’m not a reasonable person?”

Arin was putting on his fake grumpy voice, which had Dan giggling already.

“I mean,” said Dan, “you’re putting words in my mouth, so you know….”

“I’m not putting words in your mouth, unless you count the words that you already said, in which case that might be going into, like, the weird porn that we can’t talk about without being demonetized.”

“... what?”

Dan shot Arin another sidelong look.

Arin waggled his eyebrows.

Dan snorted.

“You fuckin’ weirdo.”

“And you know it.”

“Didn’t Rhett and Link once do, like, an entire thing where they gave themselves wedgies?”

“Yeah, I kinda remember that,” said Arin. 

“So you want to do _that_?”

“Well, no,” said Arin. “I draw the line at building a wedgie machine.”

“So you don’t draw the line at actually, like, receiving an atomic wedgie, just building a machine for one.”

“Yes, Dan,’ said Arin, his voice deadpan. “Yes. That’s exactly what I meant. You wanna go out, find the biggest guy you know to give each of us a wedgie on camera, to the delight of the lovelies.”

“You think it’ll delight the lovelies?”

“They like it when we suffer.”

“Well, okay, yeah, I can’t really argue with that,” said Dan, and then he was laughing again. “But… fuck, how would that even work?”

“We could do it like one of Mark’s impossible Lets Plays,” said Arin. “Remember, when he used to, like, put clothespins on his face, or drink hot sauce, or something like that?”

“Vaguely, yeah,” said Dan. “I’m not letting hot sauce anywhere near the churning, angry cauldron that is my stomach.”

“No?”

“Fuck no.”

“I mean, fair enough,” said Arin. “But does that mean that I can put clothespins on your face?”

“Why is this all about you doing horrible things to me?! What about doing horrible things to you?”

“You were the one who brought it up,” Arin pointed out. “Anyway, I’ve already done stupid shit on camera.”

“You got Mark to give you that foot massage, I remember that,” said Dan, and he made a face. “That was gross.”

“What was so gross about it? It was just feet….”

“I know that Twitch doesn’t actually, like, let anyone do foot stuff anymore.”

“Really? Why?”

“Foot fetishists,” said Dan, trying to sound like a wise sage imparting some great wisdom.

“They were that much of a problem?”

“I mean,” said Dan, “I think that they were worried about things becoming too… pornographic.”

“Oh,” said Arin. “Yeah, that’d make sense. Although they didn’t ban us when I did that upside down ketchup thing….”

On screen, Arin’s character jumped and weaved.

It was a boring fucking game - Arin was barely paying any attention.

“Why would they ban you for that?”

“I know that people could see my dick when I did that.”

“They saw the outline of your dick,” said Dan, “if they, like, zoomed and enhanced. Which I don’t think is a real thing.”

“What, zoom and enhance?”

“I see it happening on crime shows all the time,” said Dan, “but that usually means its not real.”

“I mean,” said Arin, and he was laughing now, “you’re right.”

Dan grinned. 

“Remember when Mark did that impossible let's play thing, where he made himself a human pinata?” 

“Oh yeah,” said Arin, and then he was blushing, just a bit.

… huh.

“That could be fun,” Dan said cautiously. 

“You think?”

“Yeah,” said Dan. “I mean, it’d have to be a much bigger… whatever the fuck that thing was, since we’re both so much taller than he is, but we could so make it workable.”

“But what would be the point of us doing that kind of thing, if it’s just us playing games like we do, without any camera?”

“We could bring in a camera.”

“We’d also have to get that whole whatnot,” said Arin.

“You mean a suspension frame?”

“Well, aren’t you a smart one,” said Arin, and he was waggling his eyebrows again.

The guy was getting good at his Groucho Marx impressions.

“I like to think I am,” said Dan.

“So why do you know about that, anyway?”

“We’ve got one at the gym we go to,” Dan said, feigning ignorance.

“Didn’t you work with that bondage person a while back?”

“You mean the rope artist?”

Dan was blushing, and he was beginning to get hard in his pants.

The rope work had been… it had been impressive, to say the least.

Dan liked to think he wasn’t easily impressed, but, well… it had been sexy.

It had been way too sexy, especially when he was in all that spandex.

And now Arin was looking at him with a knowing expression.

“Are you allowed to talk about that yet?”

“Not yet,” said Dan, and he tried to keep his tone neutral, playful. “When we’ve, uh, when we’ve released that photoshoot, I can spill all the beans.”

“You must have hung there like one!”

Dan snickered. 

“I hung there like a bean?”

“Well, no, okay, you hung there like a sack of beans. I should have put that better.”

“Next time on Game Grumps,” said Dan, “we talk about more possible kinky let’s plays!”

* * *

They paused, to eat dinner.

Well, they were supposed to be pausing to eat dinner.

What was actually happening was… well….

Dan was on top of Arin.

Dan had been more or less pulled on top of Arin, as soon as they’d turned the mics off, and now they were pressed close together, chest to chest, kissing like it was the end of the world.

Dan’s tongue was in Arin’s mouth, Arin’s hands were in Dan’s hair, and the two of them were grinding against each other, like horny teenagers.

“Fuck, Dan,” Arin whined, “ _fuck_!”

“Mmm,” Dan mumbled, and he pressed little kisses against Arin’s lips, after each deep one. He’s slide his tongue inside of Arin’s mouth, then press another kiss there, and Arin was moaning and thrashing under him.

It was a bit like trying to hold on to a snake that was wrapped up in a rug and trying to escape, but now Dan had that image in his head and couldn’t get it out, and he was cackling to himself as he kissed and kissed, which got Arin to pull back, looking at him with a slightly confused expression.

“What’s so funny?”

“I, uh… my mind went places,” Dan said, and he was kissing down Arin’s body, to keep from giggling again. “Sorry.”

“Anyplace interesting?”

“Not too interesting,” Dan said, and he was pushing Arin’s shirt up, kissing along Arin’s stomach, which was soft and warm against Dan’s cheek. 

“So why was it making you giggle?”

“Because I’m stupid horny and it’s kind of hard to both make sense, not be amused by stupid shit, and also be sexy,” said Dan, and he gave Arin’s cock a squeeze, right through the mesh of Arin’s basketball shorts.

Arin groaned, shuddering against Dan, and Dan grinned, squeezing again. 

“But you’re always sexy,” Arin said, and there was a note of a whine in his voice.

“Aw, Ar, you think so?”

“I know so,” Arin said with confidence in his voice. “Especially when you’re about to give me a smokin’ hot beej.”

“What makes you so sure that you’re about to get a beej?”

Dan rubbed Arin’s cock through the mesh again, and Arin rolled his hips, leaning back into his seat, planting his feet. 

“I mean,” said Arin, “what else would you be doing down there?”

“I could, theoretically, be about to give you a rim job,” said Dan.

“I doubt you’d give me a rim job when I’ve been sitting on my ass all day,” said Arin.

“I dunno,” said Dan. “That sounds like it may be nicer than if you’d been sweating all day or whatever.”

“You think?”

“I dunno,” said Dan, and he shoved the waistband of Arin’s shorts down, so that Arin’s cock sprang out, practically bouncing when it hit Arin’s belly. “I haven’t really given much thought as to when is a better time to eat ass.”

“Optimal ass eating conditions?”

“Yeah. I haven’t thought about that much.”

Dan leaned forward, and he took Arin’s cock into his mouth, sucking the head carefully, swirling his tongue along the slit, then jabbing his tongue into it.

Arin moaned, his hands going to the top of Dan’s head, tangling in Dan’s hair. 

“After… after all of that complaining you did, about… about assuming that I thought you were gonna… were gonna beej me, and then… and then, fuck, then you beej me anyway?”

“I mean,” Dan said, and he pulled back, his expression downright meditative, “I never said that I wasn’t going to do it. I just said that you shouldn’t assume. Because when you assume….”

“Yeah, I know,” said Arin, and he snickered.

Dan leaned forward, grinning a bit in spite of himself, and he took Arin’s cock back into his mouth, sucking it noisily, wetly, letting drool run down his chin.

His lower half was dangling off of the couch, and he was holding on to the back of the couch with one hand, Arin’s hip with the other.

Arin was groaning, making soft little desperate noises, rolling his hips forward. 

One of Arin’s feet was on the floor - the other one was on the back of the couch, digging into it.

It really was a good thing it was as late as it was - nobody else was around.

They could be more… blatant than usual.

Admittedly, they were usually pretty blatant, but still.

Arin moaned like he was being paid for it, arching his back off of the couch, as Dan slowly sucked him off.

Arin’s cock was… nice.

It was thick and hot against Dan’s tongue, and it was a nice weight in his mouth. He took as much of it into his mouth as he could, which admittedly, wasn’t much, since he had a strong gag reflex, but Arin was squirming and gasping.

He seemed to be enjoying himself.

Dan grinned, and he took Arin as deep as he could, gagging just a little bit, and Arin groaned like he was in pain.

“Fuck, Dan, oh fuck,” Arin groaned, and he was trying not to thrust up - he didn’t want Dan to throw up on him, after all.

Arin moaned again, a little louder, and Dan’s hands went to Arin’s balls, kneading them gently, squeezing them just hard enough to make Arin suck in a breath, and then Dad was letting go of Arin’s cock, to kiss lower, to mouth along Arin’s shaft, then to suck on Arin’s balls, sucking on them, which made Arin go stock still.

“Dan, fuck, Dan,” Arin groaned. “Fuck, Dan, that’s… Dan… oh fuck… oh, fuck, _fuck_!”

Dan swallowed Arin’s dick, fighting his own gag reflex, and he held on to Arin’s hips, bobbing his head awkwardly, sucking and slurping, drool going down his chin, to puddle in Arin’s pubic hair. 

Arin sobbed, and then Arin was going utterly stock still.

“Gonna cum,” Arin stuttered. “Gonna cum, gonna cum, fuck, I’m gonna cum, I’m so close, I’m so… oh… _fuck_!”

Arin came in Dan’s mouth.

Dan swallowed, because… well, it was neater than spitting it out, although it was gross, and he couldn’t suppress the shudder he gave, at the sensation of it going down his throat.

It was… slimy.

He wasn’t a big fan of slimy.

But god, the way Arin just… shuddered at the sight of that… it was fucking worth it.

“Fuck,” said Arin, his voice rough.

“If you’d like,” said Dan. “Although I’d have to get the lube and a condom.”

Arin snorted.

“You want me to blow you?”

Dan looked down at his own lap, where his cock was making a sizable bulge in his jeans.

“Nah,” he said. “I can wait a bit.”’

“You sure?”

“Yeah,” said Dan, and he leaned over, kissing Arin chastely on the mouth.

Arin kissed him back, and pushed his sweaty hair back from his face.

“You’ve… you’ve gotten really good,” he told Dan. 

“Yeah?”

“Oh yeah. If there was a beej olympics, you’d totally take the gold.”

“How many blow jobs have you actually had in your lifetime?”

“I’ve had a decent amount,” said Arin.

“That weren’t from me and Suzy.”

“... a smaller number.”

Dan snorted. 

“What I’m saying,” Dan said, “is that if there were a beej olympics, I don’t know if you’d make the best judge. Since you’ve got limited experience with them.”

“I’d totally be able to tell,” Arin said, and he stretched, his back cracking, his shirt riding up.

God, Dan just wanted to press his face into the softness of Arin’s belly. 

“Yeah?”

“Well, I mean, for one, I’d probably be able to tell it was you,” said Arin.

“Why?” 

“Well, for one,” said Arin, and he reached out, grabbing Dan’s hair, “there’s all this!”

“I could cover it up,” said Dan, and he took Arin’s hand in his own, kissed the back of it.

Arin flushed, and cleared his throat.

“So,” Arin said, his voice a bit unsteady, “what do you want for dinner?”

“I’m good for almost anything that’ll wash the taste of this jizz out of my mouth,” said Dan, making a face.

“Are you complaining about my jizz?”

“I’m saying you might need to up your pineapple intake.”

“Wait, does that actually, like, work?”

“Yeah,” said Dan. “Why do you look so shocked?”

“I dunno. I thought it was one of those things.”

“Those things?”

“Like eating oysters makes you horny.”

Dan wrinkled his nose.

“It’d never make _me_ horny.”

“But you know what I mean.”

“No, I can pretty much guarantee that pineapple will make your jizz taste better.”

“How do you… know?”

“... might’ve tasted my own jizz a few times,” Dan said, and he was blushing.

It had been youthful experimentation!

… also, he’d been really, really high at the time.

“Huh,” said Arin. “Did you run experiments?” 

“I would go so far as to say it was an empirical study.” 

“Really?”

“Oh yeah.”

Arin snorted, and he kissed Dan on the mouth, a quick little peck.

“I owe you a beej,” he told Dan.

“I don’t believe in you owing me anything,” Dan said. “I want you to give me a beej of your own free will.”

“Me saying I owe it is still of my own free will,” Arin argued.

“It doesn’t feel like that to me,” Dan countered. “Also, what should we have for dinner?”

“Something with pineapple.”

Dan cackled.

* * * 

They got burritos.

Dan, specifically, got a shrimp burrito, with pineapple.

Arin got a beef burrito.

Also with pineapple.

And then they were filming, and the two of them sat on the couch, and they joked around, as Arin’s weird little ninja ran around on screen.

“You think we could ever do an impossible Let’s Play?”

“Weren’t we just talking about that?”

Dan shot Arin a grin, to make it clear he was joking around.

“Well, it’s on my mind,” Arin said, as stubborn as ever. 

“Why?”

“I dunno. Maybe I’m worried we’re going stale or something.”

“I doubt that,” said Arin.

“Do you?”

“... I mean, no, I always worry about the fact that people are going to stop watching us, but at the same time, we’re doing pretty good right now. So I’m not gonna tamper.”

“Fair enough,” said Dan. “I’m sorry.”

“Nah,” said Arin. “It’s fine.” 

“But yeah,” said Dan. 

“Yeah?”

“Sorry,” said Dan. “I wasn’t sure what else to say.”

They made eye contact, and burst out laughing.

“But okay,” Dan said, when they’d calmed down and some more game time had passed, “if we were to do one of those… will it things, what would we even do?”

“We could try, like, one of those potato light bulb things?”

“What, see if we could play a game that was based on being powered by a potato?”

“Maybe a whole bunch of potatoes.”

“We could technically run Portal 2 on something like that,” Dan said, his expression thoughtful. 

“Dude,” said Arin, “that’s a spoiler!”

“Arin,” Dan said, his voice deadpan, “Portal 2 has been out for, like, six years.”

“No way,” said Arin.

“Totally,” said Dan.

“Can you check?”

“Yeah, sure, hold on,” said Dan, and then he was scrolling through his phone. “Do you wanna warn for spoilers the next time we play a Mario game? ‘Cause we don’t want people to realize that Peach is being kidnapped.”

Arin snorted, and he elbowed Dan in the side. 

Dan snorted, reading on his phone.

“Okay,” said Dan, “so with Portal 2, it came out in 2011.”

“Holy fuck,” Arin said, sounding slightly stunned. “It doesn’t feel that long ago.”

“It never does,” Dan said, and he gave Arin a conciliatory pat on the shoulder.

Arin made an amused noise.

“So is this what getting old feels like?”

“Kinda, yeah,” Dan said.

“It sucks!”

“You’re barely thirty,” Dan said, his tone teasing.

“And you’re nearly forty,” Arin countered, his tone equally teasing.

“Aging like a fine wine,” Dan said, making his tone airy as he leaned back into the cushions, his hands behind his head.

“Into vinegar,” Arin said. 

Dan gave him a look.

“Really, dude?”

“Hey man - vinegar is fuckin’... great.”

“You think?”

“Oh yeah. I don’t even drink, so what do I need wine for?”

“You could give it to Suzy,” Dan said, his tone contemplative. “Since she likes to drink, I mean.”

Arin sputtered, and then groped over to turn the mics off, pausing the game as well.

And then Arin was laughing - Arin was laughing like he was being tickle tortured, laughing so hard that he was holding on to his stomach.

“Are you okay?”

Dan put a hand on Arin’s shoulder.

Arin gave a weak thumbs up.

“I gave you to Suzy already,” Arin wheezed. “We had a whole conversation about that, you remember?”

“Well, yeah, but… I’m not sure why you’re laughing so hard.”

Arin shrugged, still red faced, panting like he had been running a marathon.

“Sometimes shit just… strikes you as super funny, man,” he told Dan. 

Dan snorted, and he patted Arin on the shoulder. 

“Don’t die, please. I think Suzy will kill me.”

“I’ll do my best,” said Arin, catching his breath. “I think I’m kinda loopy. I’m tired.”

“Me too,” said Dan, and he yawned. “Ready to get back to it?”

“No, but let’s do it anyway.”

* * *

“All I’m saying,” said Dan, about two hours later, “is that if I was Mario, I’d have invested in, like, one of those suspension rigs. That way he could just swing around.”

“I think you’ve just got your brain stuck on suspension,” said Arin. 

“I can’t help it! It just looks so… weird.” 

“You think?”

“Not, like, bad weird,” Dan said. “Just not… not the kinda thing I’ve ever had much experience with. Apart from professional stuff.” 

“I feel like you’re the only person in the world who has, like, professional reasons for rope bondage,” said Arin. 

“Apart from professional rope models,” said Dan. 

“Rope models?”

“Yeah, or rope photographers.”

“I feel like we’re going too deep into this one,” said Arin, and he was laughing. “Okay. So you’re thinking deeper into it for people who don’t do rope, like, professionally.”

“Do you think there are people who do kink professionally?”

“Oh, probably,” said Dan. “But what about us doing an impossible Let’s Play?”

“Because that wasn’t a whiplash inducing topic change,” said Arin, and he was grinning.

“Sorry,” said Dan. 

“Nah, it’s fine,” said Arin. “I know how your brain works sometimes.”

“Yeah? Can you fill me in some time, ‘cause usually I’m fuckin’ lost.”

Another burst of laughter - they were both slap happy and exhausted.

Dan was pent up - he kept looking at Arin, and... well.

Maybe he shouldn’t have turned down that blowjob earlier.

Although if he hadn’t, they’d probably still be eating dinner.

Goddamn it

Okay.

Dan yawned. 

“Sorry, am I boring?”

“We should do an impossible Let’s Play,” Dan said.

“So you’ve mentioned” said Arin. “What kind of impossible?”

“Maybe one where we’re being dangled, like Mark was,” said Dan.

“We’d have to set up a suspension rig in here,” said Arin. “And then we’d have to, y’know, get a fancy climbing harness, or else we’d have to get some rope professional in here….”

“Are you sure we’d need a rope professional? We could just ask, like, Ross to help us.”

“Would you trust Ross, when it came to our safety and possibly the safety of our various bits?”

“... fair enough,” said Dan, and he was giggling. “I mean, uh, don’t get me wrong, Lovelies, I love Ross like a brother, but….”

“I don’t want to have to worry about him pinching off some vital blood flow, and then I’d be, y’know, dead, and that’d suck. Or my foot would fall off.”

“I dunno,” Arin said. “What do I need two feet for, anything? It’s not like i do much with them. Most of my job is me sitting on my ass.”

“Yeah, but… I feel like gangrene is a really painful way to go.”

“Would that lead to gangrene?”

“Gangrene is when you start rotting, right?”

“... ew.”

“Yeah, in retrospect, I should have worded that better.”

“Yeah,” said Arin, and he made a face.

“So okay. We’d need a suspension rig, we’d need an official rope person or a climbing harness, and... I guess we’d need to figure out what kind of game we’d play in the first place.”

“Yeah, I can see that getting kinda weird,” said Arin. “I feel like we’d be in one of those… like, adult size baby bouncers.”

“They make those?”

“Oh yeah,” said Arin. 

“... why?”

“There are, uh… there are some people who get up to some interesting things, in their free time,” said Arin, and then he was laughing again, and Dan was laughing as well, as they leaned in to each other.

“I mean,” Dan said, “we’re a pair of grown ass men sitting on a couch at… nearly midnight, playing a Mario game -”

“Failing at a Mario game, you mean,” said Arin.

“Well, you’re failing at it. I haven’t played it.”

“You wanna have a go?”

“Fuck no. I’d rather hold on to the fantasy that I might be able to do it.”

“Instead of crashing into the cold reality that you’d fail?”

“I couldn’t have put it better myself, Arin. You are a regular wordsmith.”

“I certainly do my best!”

“We could do an… “extreme” Let’s Play, I guess,” said Dan, his tone thoughtful. 

He was staring up at the ceiling. 

“An extreme one?”

“Yeah,’ said Arin. “Like… I dunno. Like with electrodes that are gonna give us a shock to the taint every time we miss something.”

“I’d rather not get an electric shock to the taint, thank you very much,” said Dan, giving a theatrical shiver.

“Yeah, but… some kinda extreme something or other might be fun.”

Arin’s voice was taking on a familiar note of… something, and Dan glanced into Arin’s lap.

… yeah, Arin had an erection.

Huh.

“Next time on Game Grumps,” said Dan, and he turned off the mic.

Arin leaned back, his eyes sliding shut.

Dan leaned in to him, nuzzling into Arin’s neck.

“You know, for a man of your age, that’s pretty impressive,” he told Arin. 

“I’m not that old,” Arin grumbled, and he reached for Dan, cupping Dan’s face, and then the two of them were kissing, holding on to each other as they kissed.

“You’re so… god,” Dan murmured, right into Arin’s ear, as he slid his hand between the two of them, to palm Arin’s cock.

“I’m not god,” Arin said, and he giggled, awkwardly.

“You’re not,” said Dan, “but you are a pain in the ass.”

“If you want that, I gotta dig up the lube from my office,” said Arin.

“What’s got you so worked up, anyway?”

“Just, uh, you know….”

Arin was blushing.

“Not really, no,” said Dan, aware that he was teasing, not particularly in the mood to stop. 

“Isn’t it obvious?”

“I’m afraid it kinda isn’t,” said Dan, keeping his tone deadpan and calm. “You’ll have to spell it out for me, I think.”

“You are such a fucking jerk,” Arin groaned, but he was grinding into Dan’s hand. “You’re the biggest fucking jerk.”

“Does that mean you want me to stop?”

“... no,” mumbled Arin. “No, please, don’t stop.”

“I’m gonna stop, if you don’t tell me.”

“I want… I want to do a sexy impossible let’s play,” Arin mumbled.

“Do you?”

“Yeah.”

Dan stroked Arin through the shorts. 

"Why?"

"... seems like a fun idea," Arin mumbled. "Feeding into my exhibitionist streak or something."

He covered Dan's hand with his own, squeezing it. 

"Sorry," Arin mumbled.

"For what?"

Dan brought Arin's hand up, and he kissed Arin's knuckles.

"Being so horny, I guess," said Arin.

"Why would I be bothered by you being horny?"

Arin shrugged, looking embarrassed.

"I don't... I don't want you to think I'm just into this stuff for, you know, the... the sexy fun shit."

... where had this come from?

"I didn't think that to begin with, honestly," said Dan. "I kinda find it flattering, that you apparently think I'm one of the hottest things on legs."

"You're tied with Suzy," said Arin, and he smiled at Dan, looking less embarrassed.

"I don't think I've ever been on the same level as Suzy with anything else," said Dan. 

"I... really don't know how to respond to that," said Arin. "You're great, you know that?"

Dan pressed his face into Arin's neck, and he was grinding his hips against Arin's thigh.

His cock was still hard.

"Do you want me to suck your cock?"

Arin's voice was right in Dan's ear, tickling the hair around it.

Dan squirmed, but he nodded, licking his lips.

"Please," Dan said, and his voice cracked.

"Wow," said Arin, and he kissed Dan, his fingers tangling in Dan's hair, pressing his broad chest into Dan's narrower one, and Dan moaned into Arin's mouth, and then he was grabbing at Arin's ass, pressing Arin closer to him.

"Wow?"

"You're just... fuck, you're so hot," Arin said, and his tone was so... earnest, and how could Dan really argue with that?

He wasn't going to, especially when he had Arin's thigh pressed between his legs, so that he could grind right up against it. 

Arin pressed his thigh closer.

"I bet... I bet, we could do a whole impossible let's play, right here, if we were just subtle about it," Dan panted into Arin's ear, and he was grinding his hips again, panting like he'd been running a race.

"You... you think so?"

"Oh yeah," said Dan. "All we'd need to do would be something... quiet."

"If we made it, like... us jerking each other off or something -"

"That's not silent," said Dan, and then he gasped, because Arin's hand had slid into his jeans, and he wasn't taking Dan's jeans off, wasn't releasing Dan's cock, but Dan's cock was still... there, throbbing in Arin's hand, trapped in the denim.

Dan humped awkwardly, and he was panting, his eyes squeezing shut.

"I can be quiet," Arin said, and he sounded faintly offended. 

"I'm not saying you can't be," Dan said quickly, "just, uh, you know, the sound of someone jerking off is somewhat... distinct."

"What, you think they'd hear the fap sound?"

"Yeah," said Dan.

"We could... we could edit it in post," Arin mumbled.

Dan snorted, and then he moaned, because Arin's finger was right on his frenulum, and it was making his toes curl - it was making it especially difficult to even think, let alone form a sentence.

"We'd have to... mmm... we'd have to... do the editing ourselves," said Dan. "We don't... want to have... oh, fuck, Ar, do that again, please... please... please, oh fuck!"

"We don't want to have what?"

Arin's hand sped up, and Dan groaned again, harder this time.

"I can't hold a conversation and get jerked off," Dan groused.

"So do you want me to stop jerking you off?"

"I didn't say that," Dan said quickly. 

"So...?"

"I'd be willing to do an impossible let's play, if you could figure out how to do it in a way that it won't be obvious." 

"That was a pretty decent sentence, for someone who said he couldn't continue having one while he was being jerked off," said Arin, and he did something particularly twisty with his wrist, which made Dan's hips buck forward and his mouth fall open. 

"Fuck, Arin, don't... stop, fuck, that feels... I'm... oh, fuck...."

Arin finally unbuttoned Dan's jeans, unzipped them, and Excalibur practically sprang out, and then Arin was... Arin was sinking down on it, his lips wrapped around Dan's cock, and... oh wow.

Arin couldn't open his mouth that wide, but... but that was fine. 

It was... oh fuck, it was... oh fuck, Arin's mouth was just so good, Arin's mouth was... perfect, what was he... how could Arin be so good at giving blowjobs?

Arin's tongue was tracing along his slit, and then Arin was taking Dan's cock down his throat - how was Arin so good at this?

Also, why did Arin have, like, no gag reflex?

Dan would have to ask about that. 

Later.

God, much later, because Arin was doing... something with his tongue again, and Dan's hand were sliding into Arin's hair, twisting in it, tugging, and he was trying not to force his cock down Arin's throat, he was trying not to be obnoxious about it.

But oh fuck, oh... fuck....

Dan came down Arin's throat, without much fanfare.

He hadn't been expecting that at all, and now he was shuddering, as Arin just... kept sucking him, and that was... oh wow.

Arin pulled off, slowly, and he kissed Dan's belly, his expression downright... doofy.

He looked so happy.

Dan was seized with a great tenderness, and he leaned down, kissing Arin, because... well, how could he not, when Arin was looking at him like that?

Arin kissed him back, and his hands were still in Arin's hair, and Arin's scalp was sweaty.

"Do you want me to, uh, return the favor?"

"You don't need to return the favor," said Arin, and he looked amused. "Didn't we have a whole conversation about how you like the idea of me doing sex stuff with you specifically because you like it, not because you owe it or I owe it or whatever."

"... shut up, my brain is still fried from orgasm," Dan grumbled.

"Also," said Arin, "I gave _you_ an orgasm, so if we keep this up, it'll just be you and me endlessly giving each other orgasm, in repayment for the stuff that we're doing for each other."

"Oh no," Dan said, his voice deadpan. "The horror. Me and my boyfriend, continuously giving each other orgasms."

Arin snorted, and he rested his head on Dan's shoulder, as Dan wrapped an arm around him.

"You're really cute, you know that?"

Dan's voice was earnest.

Arin flushed.

"You could so earn the gold medal in dick sucking."

"You think that you'd be able to tell my mouth from all the other mouths that have been on your glorious cock?"

"I mean," said Dan, "it is pretty glorious. But I think I'd be able to tell your mouth from all the other ones."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah," said Dan. "I mean, among other things, you're the only person who's ever blown me who has a beard or a mustache."

"So you're saying that to be truly indistinguishable from the crowd, I have to shave?"

"I wasn't saying that," said Dan. "Why would you want to be indistinguishable from the crowd, anyway? And it's not like there's a _big_ crowd or anything like that."

"Well, yeah, okay, but... you know what I mean."

Dan snorted, and he kissed Arin on the temple. 

"We should go home. To bed. Unless you want some help?"

"Nah," said Arin. "I'll offer it to Suzy, see if she feels like playing with it."

"... oh my god, when you say it like that, you make it sound like you're just going to, like, detach your dick and offer it to her like a bouquet."

"It'd be a bouquet if we both offered our dicks to her like that," Arin said.

"It doesn't count as a bouquet if it's just two," said Dan.

"Oh realy?"

"Yeah," said Arin. "I think you'd need a whole bundle of them, to make it more... you know, spaced out."

"... what?"

"I mean, technically," Arin said, "you'd need a whole variety of dicks to make it a proper bouquet."

"Can't you have a bouquet that's only one type of thing? Like roses?"

"Usually those have, like, baby's breath and shit in them."

"What's baby's breath?"

"Those little white flowers that are kinda just... there. You know, when you see roses there's the big roses, and the little white flowers?"

"I don't look at flowers that much, honestly."

"No? You should. They're pretty."

"I will," Dan said. "So you're suggesting we get a whole bunch of dicks -"

"Some of them smaller, so that we can look bigger."

"Naturally. And we should just... present them to Suzy?"

"Totally."

"... I don't want to detach my penis," said Dan. 

"Detachable penis," Arin sang, off key and warbling.

"How the fuck do you know _that_ song?"

Dan carefully tucked his dick into his pants, and he shivered, still oversensitive. 

"I can have layers," Arin said, his tone borderline smug. 

"Yeah, but... still."

Arin rolled his eyes, and he kissed Dan.

Dan kissed Arin back. 

"Okay," said Arin. "But seriously. We should go home."

"We should."

"... can you think about the impossible let's play thing?"

"Of course," said Dan. "Were you worried I wasn't gonna?"

"I know it's a bit... outside of your comfort zone," said Arin, and he was blushing.

"Arin," said Dan, "I don't even know what my comfort zone _is_ anymore, honestly."

"No?"

"I started to date you and Suzy, which is, uh... not what I ever saw myself doing, and then I ended up getting done up the butt. I can suck a dick! Like, an actual dick. I can put a dick in my mouth. Isn't that _crazy_?"

Arin burst out laughing.

"Out of all the other shit in your life, the thing that shocked you the most isn't, like, playing all those fancy venues, but the fact that you can suck a dick now is the thing."

"I always wanted to be a rock star," Dan told Arin, and he stood up, stretching, his arms behind his head. "I never really fancied myself as a cock sucker."

Arin snorted.

"You know, it's interesting that you're not, like, offended by being called a cocksucker anymore."

"It depends on who does the calling," said Dan, and then he was looking for his shoes, putting them on, tying them. "Okay. I'm ready to head off."

"I'll see you tomorrow," said Arin, and Dan leaned down, kissed Arin on the mouth.

They said a few other things - embarrassingly emotionally sincere things, which would have made Dan blush - but it was... it was okay.

He was practically whistling as he walked to his van.

* * *

Dan slept like the dead that night, his face pressed into his pillow, drooling into it, mumbling to himself now and then.

He woke up refreshed, practically sated.

It was a level of satisfaction he hadn't exactly expected. 

Huh.

He rolled onto his back, stretching lazily, and his morning wood pointed up towards his chin. 

Excalibur, it seemed, had enjoyed all of that.

Dan's phone was blinking at him, and he grabbed it, flicking through it.

He'd gotten a message from Arin, with a link.

Huh.

What was Arin sending him messages about at... three in the morning?

Huh.

Dan clicked the link... to come face to face with a butt plug.

It was a pretty normal butt plug - seemed to be formulated for prostate stimulation, which was fair enough. 

It was... controlled with a phone app.

... huh.

_Could be fun,_ Dan texted Arin. _You have anything particularly exciting planned with that?_

Then Dan rolled over, and he went back to sleep, because he didn't need to do much of anything for a few hours, and why not get some more sleep while he had the chance?

* * *

Dan woke up - again - to more messages.

All from Arin.

_I was thinking that we could use it for the impossible let's play,_ read the first text message, _since that way we wouldn't have to worry about stuff like installing a swing._

There was another message, right under that one.

_Of course, we'd have to tell the lovelies that it was something like a shock collar or something, but still. It could be fun._

And then another one.

_We'd probably also have to edit it ourselves, since... y'know._

Dan grinned.

Arin was chasing his own tail.

He did that sometimes.

It was kind of cute. 

_I'd be game for it,_ Dan texted. 

He got a response almost immediately. 

_Oh thank fuck. I already ordered it._

Dan snorted.

_You know we can use it for other stuff, right? Not just the whole impossible let's play thing._

_Well, yeah, but still._

_Still?_

_If I’m gonna get a thing for one particular thing, I wanna use it for the thing, not just as a consolation prize for not doing the thing._

_Being able to put something in your butt and making you cum like a fountain isn’t a consolation prize, as far as I’m concerned._

_Why is it going in my butt?_

_Because you like things in your butt._

_I can’t argue with that logic._

_I feel like you’d find a way to._

_I am a man of many talents, what can I say?_

Dan burst out laughing, right there in bed, and he grinned at his phone, aware of how cheesy he was being, not necessarily caring in the moment.

* * *

Arin came over to Dan’s house three nights later.

They had a nice night in - ordered Chinese food, watched movies, cuddled on the couch.

Arin was… nervous about something, but Arin was usually worried about something.

Not much good came from poking him about whatever was bothering him - it worked better to just let him tell you, when he got to it.

“I brought the uh, the toy with me,” he told Dan. 

“Did you?”

“Yeah,” said Arin. “I was thinking that maybe we could test it.”

“You want me to put it in your ass?”

“Yeah,” said Arin. “I was thinking we could test how well it, uh, how well it works, when we’re not actually at the office.”

“That makes sense,” said Dan. “You wanna do it while we watch our movie?”

“Sure!”

Arin replied to that with a degree of enthusiasm that… Dan hadn’t expected.

Huh.

There was possibly a kink here that Dan was tripping over.

Fucked if he knew what it was.

He’d have to ask Arin about it, some time.

Some neutral time.

Okay.

What was he going to do right now? 

… he was going to get the lube, and he was going to push a truly gorgeous hunk of silicone into Arin’s ass, because that was what Arin wanted, and it was what Dan wanted. 

What kind of a boyfriend would he be, if he just… left Arin hanging like that?

* * * 

Arin sat on Dan’s couch, and he squirmed.

It was a full body squirm - his knee was jiggling, his lower body was wriggling, his hands were restless.

Dan had his phone open to the remote’s app, and he was idly fiddling with it. 

“So how is it?”

“Great,” Arin said, his voice thick. “Really… great.”

“Yeah? How about… this pattern? It says we can choose different ones.”

Arin nearly arched off the couch.

“Fuck, Dan,” Arin said, his voice thick.

“I mean,” said Dan, “in theory, I could climb into your lap and just ride your dick, but that’s up to you, man. I don’t think I can fuck you without first removing the toy, and I feel like you wouldn’t appreciate that much.”

“Really… wouldn’t,” Arin agreed, and he was tilting his head back, panting up at the ceiling.

“Do you want me to put a new movie on?” 

Dan kept his tone calm, mellow, almost teasing.

“Hm?

“You don’t seem to be getting much from this movie,” said Dan. “I was thinking that maybe you’d like me to put a new movie on.”

“This one is fine,” Arin said. “Absolutely fine.”

“You absolutely sure?”

“Dan, you are such an asshole,” Arin ground out.

“I am not,” Dan said, keeping his tone prim.

His finger skated across his phone screen, and Arin let out a particularly strangled moan, humping the air desperately.

“Fuck,” Arin groaned. “Oh, fuck, Dan, Dan, please….”

“Please what?”

“Please… don’t… oh god!”

“I’m not actually touching you, Arin,” said Dan. “So what are you saying “don’t” about in the first place?”

“... you’re such a cunt, Dan,” Arin groaned, and his fingers were tangled in his own hair now, twisting it around and around his fingers, forcing his head back, his mouth wide open.

“I am not,” said Dan, and then he fiddled with the remote. “That’s also not a good way to talk to the person who has control of the toy that’s buzzing away in your ass.”

“Oh god,” said Arin. “You’re going on a power trip. I never would have seen you going on a power trip. How are you going on a power trip?”

“I can go on power trips. I’m as easily led off the path as any other human being, thank you very much.”

“Oh my god, Dan,” said Arin, and he was laughing now as well, still humping the air, his heels digging into the baseboard of the couch. 

“I know that you thought I was an angel,” Dan continued, keeping his tone airy, “but unfortunately, I am not. I am a mere mortal, just like you.” 

And then Arin came in his pants. 

Full on… creamed his jeans, like some kind of teenager seeing a tit for the first time.

Holy _fuck_.

“Dan, I can’t feel my balls,” Arin said, his voice thick. “Please turn it off?”

“Oh. Right. Sorry.”

Dan turned it off hurriedly, and Arin grinned at him, his eyes wide.

His hair was stuck to his face with sweat, and his eyes were dark. 

“Holy fuck,” said Arin. “That’s… wow.”

“Have you ever had a vibrator in your ass before?”

“Not… not like that,” Arin said, his voice thick. “Dude….”

“Hmm?”

“It’s amazing.”

“Yeah?”

“You should try it some time.”

“You know how dumb I get when I’ve got stuff in my butt.”

“Well, yeah,” said Arn. “Because you’ve got a great butt.”

“... what?”

“I don’t fucking know. You just made me cum, completely hands free, literally just humping my own pants, and I still can’t feel my taint.”

There was a pause.

“I mean, can you normally feel your taint?”

“I’m usually not, like… aware of it, but I also know it’s there.” 

“And right now you don’t?”

“I’m a little worried it might be missing.”

“What, your taint just flat out disappearing?”

“I feel like there’d be space if it just flat out disappeared. It’d be… you would have, like, organs dripping out.”

“Which organs?”

“Do I look like an organ-ologist?”

“Do you mean anatomist?”

“That too.” 

“Why am I making more sense than you are, when I’m the one who just came?” 

Arin gave Dan a feeble poke in the side.

“Because I don’t have the sweet, sweet endorphins flowing through me, I’m just stupid horny,” said Dan. 

“I can help you with that, you know,” said Arin, raising an eyebrow in what he probably thought was a roguish way.

“How would you feel about me fucking you in the ass? Since you’re already nice and, y’know, stretched out from having the plug in you.”

“... I could live with that,” said Arin, licking his lips. “I mean… I could find a way to fit that into my busy schedule.”

Dan snorted, and leaned in, kissing Arin on the mouth, a soft, deep kiss, his tongue probing into Arin’s mouth, his hands on Arin’s face.

Arin sighed, leaning into the kiss, and Dan just… melted.

God, he was the luckiest man in the world.

* * *

“Fuck, Ar, oh god, oh fuck, fuck, _fuck_ , Arin, oh god….”

There was a stream of gibberish flowing out of Dan’s mouth, like someone had turned on a fire hose connecting his mouth to his brain, without any filter.

He was fucking up into Arin’s ass, as Arin straddled him, clinging to his shoulders.

“God, fuck, Dan,” Arin mumbled, and his cock was… almost hard.

At least, thinking about it.

He still shuddered and gasped as Dan’s long fingered hand stroked it, pumped it. 

Arin was sobbing from the overstimulation, pressing his forehead against Dan’s, and they were kissing each other now, stemming the tide of chatter, and Dan was fully seated inside of Arin, just rolling his hips, barely moving, because Arin was… Arin was hot and tight inside, tight enough that Dan’s eyes were practically crossing, and his chest was rising and falling as he tried to catch his breath. 

He was overheating, already damp with Arin’s sweat.

… and then Arin was going stiff, and his ass was spasming around Dan’s cock, but that… didn’t Arin just cum?

And then Dan’s own orgasm hit him on the back of the skull like a sock full of batteries, and he was cumming, straight into Arin, his whole body rigid, sobbing and shaking.

“God… fuck, Dan,” Arin said, his voice ragged. “Holy fuck.”

“I know, right?”

“Right,” said Arin, and he was still shaking. “Double tapping is, uh… it’s something.”

“D’you like doing it?”

“I don’t… not like doing it,” Arin said, and he was only blushing a little bit.

“Oh,” said Dan, and he licked his lips, leaning in to kiss Arin again. 

“That was really good,” Arin said. “Fuck… I really… wow.”

“Thanks,” said Dan, as his cock slid out from inside of Arin, and cum dripped down onto the towel he was sitting on.

At least he wouldn’t have to clean any more jizz off of his couch. 

“We should so find a way to do an impossible let’s play with that thing,” Arin said, leaning into Dan. 

It anchored Dan to the couch, and Dan sighed. 

It was nice to remind his body that he belonged to it, now and again.

He gave Arin a peck on the mouth, and got a kiss back.

“You okay, Dan?”

“Yeah,” said Dan, and he grinned. “Just planning shit.”

“What kinda shit?”

“You’ll see, when it happens!” 

“That’s cheating.”

“Can _I_ have a moment of post orgasm stupidity?”

Arin opened his mouth, presumably to say something particularly clever, and then closed it.

“Hm?”

Dan looked at him sidelong.

“I was going to say something kinda mean, but it was mean. So I didn’t say it.”

“Oh,” said Dan. “Well, I appreciate that.”

He took Arin’s hand into his own, and he kissed the back of Arin’s hand. 

Arin flushed, snuggling in closer to Dan, pinning him even tighter to the couch. 

“I do my best,” said Arin, and he grinned at Dan, his expression still loopy.

Dan grinned back.

“We should shower,” Arin said, “since I smell like ass.”

“Not all of you smells like ass,” said Dan.

“Your dick probably does, though.”

“... thanks for that,” Dan said, making a face.

“I live to please,” Arin said cheerfully.

Dan rolled his eyes, shoving Arin off of him carefully. 

“Let’s go shower.”

“Then we can start the movie again - I wanna actually be able to actually pay attention to it this time.”

* * *

They planned the impossible let’s play.

They planned it pretty carefully, for obvious reasons.

They didn't want to subject anyone else in the office to their various sexual escapades.

So they chose a late night.

They chose a late night, they agreed they’d do their own editing, they made sure the office was empty… and then it was just a case of getting stuff ready.

Arin disappeared into the bathroom for almost half an hour, then came back out, looking disgruntled and walking a little funny.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” said Dan. “I hate my intestines sometimes.”

“Oh. one of those situations.” 

Dan made a face.

“Yeah. That kinda thing.”

“Ew,” said Dan. 

“Sorry,” said Arin. “You are talking about my butt, though.”

“I accept you, butt and all,” said Dan. 

“Even if my butt does gross things?”

“I mean,” said Dan, “sometimes those gross things are directly related to my dick, so it’s not like I can really… judge it.”

“You know, this is getting gross even for me,” said Arin, as the two of them settled into the couch.

Arin was sitting only a little gingerly.

Dan grinned.

“Ready to get started?”

“Let’s do this, man.”

* * *

“Welcome to Game Grumps. Today, me and Arin are doing an Impossible Let’s Play. Yes, like Mark did. You don’t have to comment on that.”

“Why don’t you tell the lovelies what it is you’re doing?”

“I’ve got on a shock collar, and every time I die in game, I’m going to have to get a shock.”

“Exactly right! And now, to choose the game….”

“That was one of the rules,” Arin told the Lovelies. “I don’t get to choose the game.”

Dan grinned, a wide, almost gleeful grin.

Arin groaned. 

“ _Mario Maker_.”

Arin’s tone was one of disbelief.

Dan was still smiling.

“I think I hate you,” Arin said, his tone weak.

Dan held up his phone, which had the app for the vibrator open.

“Is that a way to talk to the guy holding the remote?”

“... yeah, yeah,” Arin grumbled. “Let’s get this shit started.

* * * 

The hardest part for Arin seemed to be keeping from moaning.

Admittedly, Dan couldn’t blame him.

He barely made it past the first bit, before Mario was dying.

Dan turned the vibrator on to its lowest setting, and Arin jumped.

“That wasn’t so bad,” he said into his microphone. 

“Do you want me to turn it up?” 

“God no,” Arin said, and he shuddered. “Let me get even more… zapped just from fucking up, not from running my mouth.”

“You’d rather do it from running off of a platform. Like you just did.” 

Dan indicated the platform that Arin had just run off, and turned the power of the vibrator up.

Arin made a startled noise, and Dan grinned at him.

“Arin is trying to fuckin’ kill me with his mind right now,” said Dan. “If I suddenly go quiet, it’s ‘cause it worked.”

Arin was squirming again - full on squirming, with a tent in his pajama pants, his legs jiggling.

Arin lasted for eight more deaths.

By then, Dan was faintly worried about the mics picking up on the sound.

Except that Arin was turning redder in the face, and beginning to pant.

“Ar, are you okay?”

“I keep… expecting the zap to hit me again,” Arin said thickly. “We should have maybe used… something. Crud. Like, a TENS unit or something.”

“What’s a TENS unit?”

“It’s one of those things that you can use to give your muscles, like, timed electric shocks. It helps with pain management.”

“How the fuck would shocking your muscles help with pain management?”

“It makes them relax or some shit. I don’t know. But they, uh… they help. And you… they’re… easier than… this, oh _god_!”

On screen, Mario died again, running into a goomba.

Arin groaned like he was in pain, and then he was just… putting the controller on the floor (carefully), and he was grabbing at Dan’s face, and they were kissing.

“You’re getting off on this so hard,” Dan said, right against Arin’s lips. “You are, aren’t you? You’re getting off on the fact that if we did this right, all of the lovelies would know you’re just a dirty pervert!”

Arin groaned, right against Dan’s mouth, and he was almost sobbing as he ground his hips, no doubt forcing the plug to shift inside of him. 

“God, Dan, please,” Arin whined, and wow, yeah, that was a full blown _whine_. “Please!”

“Please what?”

“Please… please use me, make me cum, let me cum, I don’t fucking care what… I don’t care what you do, just… please, fucking please….”

“Beg me harder,” Dan said. “Beg me to suck my cock.”

“Please, Dan, please, let me suck your cock, let me… let me suck your cock, please, I _need_ to suck your cock, I need it in my mouth, I need you to cum in my mouth, please, please, please!”

“Didja hear that, lovelies? He wants to suck me off.”

This was, of course, going to be erased.

Or maybe they’d save it, for their own private porno collection.

But regardless - no Lovelies would see this.

But the… idea of it was pretty hot.

“Tell the lovelies you want to suck my cock,” Dan said. “Right into the mic. Do it.”

Arin actually… leaned forward, and spoke into the mic.

“I want to suck Dan’s cock,” he told the microphone.

“Why do you want to suck my cock?”

“Because… because I lied. It’s not a shock collar. I’ve got a vibrating plug in my ass, and Dan… Dan can control it. Oh, fuck, Dan, please!”

“Apologize to the lovelies for lying to them,” said Dan.

“I’m sorry for lying to you, it was wrong of me to do that, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, please Dan, please…. _please_!”

“You do sound so pretty begging,” said Dan, and okay, he sounded… kind of stupid, but fuck it, Arin was shuddering, and this was at least partially for Arin’s benefit.

… not that Dan wasn’t getting anything out of it. 

Even if you took out the fact that he was about to get his cock sucked… seeing Arin this needy was possibly the biggest turn on ever.

Or at least one of them.

So Dan stood up, positioning himself right by the mic, and he unbuckled his pants, shoving them down around his thighs.

Excalibur was just… there, hard and dripping pre-cum already.

“God,” Arin said, his voice thick, “fuck, it’s so… perfect.”

He leaned forward, until he was talking into the microphone and into Dan’s dick.

“His cock is perfect,” he told the lovelies, and then he took Dan’s cock into his mouth, and he sucked.

Dan moaned like he was being paid for it, like they had an audience.

He put his hands on top of Arin’s head, and he rolled his hips forward, full on fucking Arin’s face, and Arin… Arin took it, and Arin moaned for more, his hips bucking on the couch.

The plug was probably doing things to Arin’s prostate - he was already starting to whimper around the cock in his mouth.

Dan kept his hand on the back of Arin’s head, using it for leverage as he kept fucking Arin’s face, and the mic was probably picking up every slurp and sloppy gag.

God, Arin was just… so amazing like this, and was getting off so hard to it.

Dan almost couldn’t believe it, except it was happening, right there in front of him.

“I’m gonna cum,” Dan said, his voice thick. “I’m gonna cum in your mouth, unless you want me to cum on your face….”

Arin pulled off of Dan’s cock, and his lips were swollen, his expression utterly debauched.

“No, do it. Cum in my mouth.” 

And then Dan was… fuck, Dan wasn’t made of iron, and he was cumming, right down Arin’s throat, and Arin was just… swallowing it.

Dan watched, his eyes wide, his head just a little bit… spinny, before he was sinking to his knees, to watch as Arin humped his own hand, through the pajama pants.

Arin came in his pants, again, and then he was flat against the couch, panting heavily.

“Fuck,” Arin said thickly.

“Matt and Ryan, edit that out,” Dan said, deadpan.

Arin made eye contact with Dan, and then they were laughing again. 

“You get a gold in fuckin’... weird dirty talk,” Arin said. 

Dan gave an awkward thumbs up.

**Author's Note:**

> Like this fic? 
> 
> Want me to write you something like it, or something completely different?
> 
> Come talk to me on my tumblr, theseusinthemaze.tumblr.com!


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